hope (save me)
by trashookie
Summary: "harry potter is dead." (if this was what he had always wanted, then why did victory seemed to taste so bitter?) it was the end. and draco malfoy was still alive.


_may 2, 1998_

"harry potter is dead."

his ears were ringing as a burst of whispers and cries erupted all around. someone was screaming "no!" but he couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.

(if this was what he had always wanted, then why did victory seemed to taste so bitter?)

everyone's faces- students, teachers, and families- covered in grime, bloodied from cuts and bruises, immediately gave up whatever hope was left. their eyes turned from the body gripped by a crying hagrid, and towards the ground, losing the will to continue fighting.

it was the end.

and draco malfoy was still alive.

 _._

 _may 23, 1997_

"sectumsempra!"

he could only feel pain as he suddenly fell backwards.

the blood began to fall silently into the wet floor of the boys bathroom, quickly spreading as he lost more and more blood. everything felt warm for a second, before it began to feel cold.

he began to gasp for breath as the pain blackened his vision, his hands and feet had already gone numb, and he felt inexplicably cold as the wounds opened more and more.

heavy footsteps echoed in the bathroom, but he could not even focus on that as his mind began to drift farther and farther away.

someone gripped his arm, holding tightly as they began to whisper, "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, please-"

.

 _may 2, 1998_

the war was practically over as the dark lord began to call to his followers, before addressing hogwarts again.

"now, it is time to declare yourself." you-know-who announced, walking slowly before the survivors of the school, all who were watching him with a mixture of fear and defiance. "come forward and join us, or die."

the silence was deafening, the tension practically tangible in the air. people looked around at the others, trying to see who would be the first to betray them, the first to give up. he, himself, did nothing more but simply gulp on the air, afraid to move even the slightest.

seconds, a minute passed.

no one moved.

that is, until lucius malfoy spoke for the first time.

.

 _september 1, 1996_

"draco, draco!"

he heard pansy's voice from behind him, coming closer to his booth in the train.

blaise rolled his eyes from where he was next to him, and crabbe and goyle simply stared at nothing, unresponsive as always.

"draco! can you believe it!" her voice was loud and shrilly as she invited herself over to an empty seat, immediately latching one of her hands in his suit. he curled his lip, about to tell her to take her hand off, but she continued to speak. "the dark lord is back!"

immediately, the other slytherins fell silent, out of respect or fear, draco did not know.

he looked at her blankly, "why, pansy, did you ever doubt he would return?"

"of course not!" pansy's voice wobbled slightly, her smile nervous as she looked around them, "i'm simply happy of what's going to happen."

he hummed to himself, turning back around to look at the passage from the window, ignoring the others as conversation slowly started again.

however, a sudden, but quiet, noise startled him. he gazed upward, where the noise had been coming from, and noticed how goyle's trunk moved slightly, apparently all by itself.

he let a smirk fall on his face, and continued to watch the window.

.

 _may 2, 1998_

"draco," lucius said, his voice rough and so unlike how it always used to be, "draco."

his father's hand was reaching out towards him, asking him, telling him, to come over to their side again.

he hesitated.

he could feel the curious gazes of his classmates as they waited to see the slytherin choose. he felt the judging glances of his teachers, who most likely already knew what he would do. he felt the dark lord's watching him with an amused glint in his eyes. most of all, he could feel his family's gaze, his father's cool but nervous expression, and his mother's sad and tired eyes.

he didn't move.

"draco," his mother's voice was soft but painfully loud in the silence of the school grounds, "come."

he saw how her face expressed her weariness at everything that had happened. he saw her sunken cheeks and the faint trail of tears adorning her cheeks. she looked so vulnerable, yet, her eyes never faltered to show him the love she had for him.

he walked forward.

.

 _may 2, 1998 (5 hours earlier)_

his grip on the lose furniture was falling every second, especially with the flames of the fiendfyre being so close to him. he tried climbing upward, his hands shaking as he suddenly heard a scream from below. he turned, only to see crabbe falling into the wild flames. he swallowed the knot in his throat, and continued climbing.

goyle was just a bit below him, and he too, seemed to be having no luck from escaping. resigning himself, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

after everything that had happened, and this was how he was going to die.

a sudden swoosh flew right behind him, making him spin around as much as he could, only to see potter and weasley flying on brooms, with granger just behind them. he saw how potter had his arm extended toward him, and draco immediately tried to grab it but failed.

he thought potter would simply leave them there, after all, who could blame him? but instead, the gryffindor surprised him as he instead, turned around, and flew closer this time.

draco grabbed potter's hand and swung his leg into the broom, holding on to the gryffindor as they flew towards the exit. he looked behind them, and saw weasley grabbing goyle as well.

his mind was frozen that he could not even comprehend when the flames were coming closer and closer to the door, nor could he think of anything when potter inspected a charred diadem that crumbled in his hands.

all he could think about was how _they_ had saved him.

when the doors to the room of requirement closed, everyone simply laid on the floor, gasping for air or coughing from the smoke.

goyle, as soon as he stood up, immediately took off running, leaving everyone else behind.

draco himself, however, did not run. he simply stared at the closed doors, not wanting to face the others.

alas, the trio seemed to be awfully quiet. and so after drawing up his shoulders, he turned around, fully expecting to be attacked.

but when he looked at them, only potter was watching him, since the other two were whispering to themselves. he stared at potter, eye to eye, and was slightly startled when the other boy spoke.

"go," was all he said, his voice cold and void of emotion.

draco looked at him, surprise in his eyes.

harry just shook his head, and said more softly, "go."

and so, with one last nod to the other boy, draco walked away.

.

(but a debt is a debt, and that day, draco would owe his life to harry potter.)

.

 _may 2, 1998_

"well done, draco, well done." the dark lord whispered as he motioned with his wand towards his father and mother. with a nod, draco walked towards his family and straight into his mother's embrace. and when her arms surrounded his shaking frame, he sighed, tears almost falling from his eyes as he simply pressed harder into her hug.

he vaguely heard the sudden fighting that arose from behind them. he turned slightly, and noticed how the war had begun once again.

his mother tugged him towards the entrance of the castle. "come draco, we must go."

but he hesitated, even when she looked expectantly at him, even when his father repeated his mother's voice. he hesitated.

and when he glanced to the spot where harry had laid limply in the arms of the giant, he saw nothing. no body. no dead savior. no end to the war.

with a glance at his parents, he whispered, "i'm sorry," before breaking off into a run, straight into battle.

.

only this time, he fought for the light.

after all, no darkness lasts forever.

.

 _march 29, 1998_

"well, draco?" his father questioned, his tone urging and desperate, "is it? is it harry potter?"

he briefly glanced into the eyes of the others, where he found granger's to be filled of loss and weasley's of resignation. it was, however, the eyes of the other, of potter himself, that made him falter.

"i can't-" he broke off, hesitating as he gazed into the green eyes of the boy who had been his enemy for the past 7 years. it could be so easy, to simply end everything in that very instant by just confirming their identities. it would be so easy to allow the other death eathers to come into his house, awaiting the orders of their lord. it would take nothing more but just a simple sentence to have the dark lord here, in less than seconds, just so that harry potter could finally be killed by his hand. but for some reason, he could not do that. "i can't be sure."

their eyes met for just a split second, but it was enough to see the gratitude and burning fire inside the eyes of his childhood enemy.

and although draco did not know it, because of his reluctance to answer, he had allowed the light to win against the dark.

after all, the elder wand would soon have a new master, and it was this simple fact that changed everything.

.

 _june 5, 1998_

"all those in favor of declaring draco lucius malfoy innocent, say aye."

it was one particular voice that drew the attention of many.

"aye," harry potter had said, loud and clear for everyone to notice.

"mr. potter, would you please tell us the reasons for your decision?" asked minister shacklebolt, eyebrows raised slightly as he noticed how the court had erupted into whispers.

"of course, minister." potter had said, taking a seat in the chair used by witnesses. with a sweeping glance from his eyes, he gazed at everyone attending one of the most controversial trials of the war.

the trial of draco malfoy.

when harry began speaking, he looked at draco for a short time, but enough to make him see something that left him slightly breathless.

and with just that simple glance, draco knew that he was a free man.

even still, he never stopped looking at harry, even when the other never looked at him again. he simply looked and listened to the words of the saviour of the wizarding world as he spoke with gratitude of the young death eater who made mistakes, sure, but who never failed to save the light side in many ways. this boy, the one who saved the wizards, is the same boy who would now be draco's saviour.

once again.

.

 _may 2, 1998_

draco saw harry as he took off his invisibility cloak slightly; he saw how the other seemed to grip his wand tighter, seemingly to prepare himself to head into the battle only he could end.

"potter," he called out, and before he could regret his words when the other turned around, wand readied, he continued, "i-i-"

"malfoy," harry interrupted, lowering his wand slightly, "we don't have time for this."

draco himself shook his head slightly, not moving when the other fully took off his cloak.

"harry," that did make said man stop, and turn to look at draco once more, "i'll be behind you."

with a nod, harry looked at him once again, before running off and straight into the bloodshed, where he began firing spells left and right.

and draco did the same, only this time, he aimed for the death eaters, and protected his classmates and his teachers. and when he saw the angered glances that some of the death eaters sent him, he simply smirked, and blasted them with another spell.

and when voldemort fell, once and for all, even draco couldn't contain a breathless laugh from falling from his lips.

he turned around, almost as if expecting to see someone, his parents or crabbe and goyle or perhaps even harry, but all he saw were people crying for the loss of their loved ones, and others hugging and kissing the ones that had survived.

he smiled slightly, bitterly, because in the end, even if he had fought for what was right, he had no one.

.

 _june 5, 1998_

"hey, potter. potter!" draco had said, jogging slightly after the raven haired man, who only turned when draco was almost by his side.

the other waited for the blond man as he tried to catch his breath, all the while trying to appear nonchalant.

"what did you want, malfoy?" harry asked, head slightly tilted as he looked at the man he had just freed, moments ago.

"i just-" draco began, swallowing a bit nervously, "i wanted to thank you."

harry simply raised an incredulous eyebrow, clearly waiting for the blond to continue speaking,

"thank you for giving me another chance," draco added, eyes looking at everything except the man in front of him.

harry hummed slightly, and with a small smile, he simply said, "no problem."

and he walked away.

.

 _september 3, 1998_

he laid bloodied on the floor by the girl's restroom, his arm twisted at an awkward angle while his wand laid fallen feet away from him.

he tried to speak, tried to call out to someone, but the petrificus totalus still hadn't gone away.

all he could do was wait.

although, he didn't have to wait long.

"malfoy?" a voice called out from above him, but he couldn't see their face. all he could see was the light of a lumos.

when the person came closer to him, he immediately knew it was harry potter, not just because of the invisibility cloak that pooled in his feet, but also because harry suddenly knelt down, until all draco could see where the green eyes belonging to said wizard.

"malfoy!" the other said again, only this time, surprise overcoming his tone. "who did this to you?"

bloody hell, draco thought. apparently, harry himself seemed to realize the position that draco was actually in, since he sighed, and blushed slightly when draco rolled his eyes.

"ah, sorry 'bout that," harry murmured, "reparifors."

soon after, draco could finally move. with a grunt of pain, he rolled over, only to hiss as pain overcame his entire left side.

"hold on, don't move." harry advised, moving closer to draco, "where are you hurt?"

"m-my ribs," he gasped out, his hand scrambling to find something to hold on to, only to stop when his left arm refused to move, "bloody- my arm."

the other boy tried to pick him up, but with a cry from the blond, he stopped. "we need to go to madam promfey."

"it's curfew already," draco muttered, "we'll get in trouble."

harry shook his head slightly, "don't worry about that."

and with a levicorpus, the pair were soon walking (more like floating, as was the case of draco) towards the infirmary.

"now," harry began, his hand still held in the air as he illuminated their path, "can you tell me what happened?"

"why do you care?" draco huffed, although he immdiately regretted it when pain simple surged more.

harry simple looked at him, with an expression that clearly meant he would wait until the other answered.

"t'was some sixth years," draco admitted, his voice nothing more but a faint whisper.

"why?"

"why do you think?"

harry didn't respond, but draco knew that the message was clear.

the war might be over, but his mistakes would not be forgiven.

.

 _december 25, 1998_

"why, potter, fancy seeing you here." draco drawled, watching as harry jumped slightly from where he was sitting.

"malfoy," harry greeted him with a friendly nod, and it was times like this that sometimes still shocked draco. the times when they spoke without anger in their voices, without the tones that enemies spoke with, because now, their voices held respect for each other.

swallowing his pride, draco spoke again, "mind if i join you?"

"it's a beautiful night," was all the other said, and draco took that as invitation to sit next to the other, with his legs also dangling from the open window in the clock tower.

"and why are you here on your lonesome, and not why the weasley's?" draco asked, glancing at his companion, only to find him looking attentively at the stars. "what about the she-weasel?"

"i wanted to be alone."

"well, if that's the case," draco said, beginning to stand up, "i better leave you then."

"no!" a hand shoot towards him, grabbing his wrist, "you don't have to go."

draco stared at the other boy, before sitting down slowly, "alright."

the hand that was gripping his wrist did not move, and draco could not find it in himself to push the other away, especially with how harry looked.

"harry," harry murmured, refusing to look away from the sky.

"huh?"

"call me harry."

there was a faint smile in his lips, "only if you call me draco, harry."

"sure, draco."

neither of them spoke again, but when harry's hand moved slightly so that his palm rested against draco's, draco could not resist but to connect the two.

he was sure both were blushing, but at that moment, it was nothing more but a simple reassurance that they were not alone.

not anymore.

.

("and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss," draco would later think in the safety of his room, watching the stars outside. but a romantic, alas he was not. he couldn't be. for he knew the tragedy that was that of the two young lovers, and could only wish for a better end.)

.

 _december 31, 1998_

"and muggles, you say," draco reasserted, his back slightly cold from where he was lying on the ground (which still amused him slightly, since he could imagine the outraged expressions his father would have if he saw him),"count down until midnight?"

"usually," harry agreed from where he, too, was lying next to him, "although some chose not to, because of religion and such."

"religion?"

"mhm," harry turned slightly to the other, "the beliefs muggles hold over practically everything. the creation of the universe, why things function the way they do, miracles."

draco hummed, his eyes straying slightly from the starry night, "silly them, everything is explained with magic."

harry chuckled slightly, "you could say that."

the pair soon fell silent, that is, until draco spoke again.

"and what do muggles do once it's midnight."

"well," harry pondered slightly, "the auld lang syne is usually sung, and people cross hands at some point. there's also the new year's kiss."

"kiss?" draco asked, looking intently at harry.

"yes," harry turned to look at draco, "you kiss someone, and it's supposed to strengthen a relationship. or to rid of the evils of the year, some people say."

draco looked at harry, and noticed how the stars seemed to be reflected in the tired emerald eyes of the man in front of him. he saw the reflection of the moon on the black eyelashes, and a silver dust falling gently on his skin filled with battle scars. that was perhaps the first time he noticed how broken and beautiful harry potter truly was.

"how much longer until midnight?" asked draco, raising his hand slightly, almost as if to touch harry, only to drop it in the middle of their bodies.

before harry could answer, the clock behind them struck midnight, startled the pair with the loud noise.

from being startled, draco had moved slightly closer to harry, and found his hand to be covered by harry's own.

and when he gazed back at harry, harry began to 'explain', "crossing hands after midnight is the tradition."

draco's lips formed the ghost of a smile, before he remembered something he had always wanted to ask, but never had the courage to.

"harry?"

a small hum showed him that he was listening.

"why do you keep doing this?"

"doing what?"

"saving me."

there was a pause, before harry gripped draco's hand tighter. and with that tighter grip, harry sat up, bring draco along with him.

"maybe because i think you are worth saving."

and before draco could find a response to that, harry leaned forward, and gave draco a sweet and satisfying kiss.

a kiss that was over too soon.

"i-i'm sorry," harry leaned backwards, scrambling away from draco, only to find his hand still connected to the other.

to this, draco simple whispered, "happy new year," before leaning towards harry again, and giving him another kiss.

the sky was full of stars; and they, full of an emotion they had not felt in a very long time.

.

(hope)


End file.
